February 20, 2018 • Sarah Jean Gosney
For those of you who know me personally or have read my book, you know that I used to be a rainbow-haired radical. It’s been a long process of recovery, but I have made it to the other side a conservative. For those of you thinking of evolving beyond an identity centered around fighting The Man, continue reading for a step by step guide on how to stop being a social justice warrior.
Like it or not, appearance is ideology. Your physical presentation says a lot about the person you are on the inside and what your beliefs are. The first and easiest step to changing how people perceive you is to change the way you look. So, take out any piercings that don’t reside in your earlobes and dye your hair a natural color. If your hair is partially shaved, get a pixie cut if possible (for women), or, if necessary, cut it as evenly as possible and wait through the painful process of growing it out. It should only take a month or two to grow a respectable pixie cut. For the ladies, I encourage you to grow it further, but having a natural color and even length is enough to make you look civilized.
The next step in changing the way you interact with the world is to watch what comes out of your mouth. You may have gotten accustomed to swearing like a sailor, but rest assured that most of the population has not and doesn’t particularly want to. You will instantly seem unprofessional and uncouth when a steam of curse words leaves your lips. Cut this out immediately.
In that same vein, paying attention to the tone of your voice is almost as important as the words that come out of your mouth. With the anger that comes with being a social justice warrior, you may find yourself frequently yelling, growling, or screeching. When you pay attention to your voice, do you sound shrill? If so, take a deep breath and start again. Men can speak in lower, commanding voices (though in certain situations this is useful for women) and women can speak in higher, softer tones. This will make listening to you more appealing.
There is a time and place to talk about everything, including politics, but wearing your views on your t-shirt can be very confrontational. Perhaps that was what you wanted during your time as an SJW, but toning down your political confrontation is an important step in shedding your social justice ways. Just as it’s not always advisable to wear your heart on your sleeve, it’s probably not not wise to wear your politics on your shirt.
Politics, religion, and money. These are well-known to be topics not meant for polite company. While I would argue that these topics are fine for certain relationships and contexts, they are certainly not subjects you want to broach with strangers. Politics are personal, and unless you are in a political or academic setting where this is appropriate, people most likely don’t want to hear your take on things.
The world has much more to offer than just politics. Try focusing some of your enthusiasm on another activity. If you could channel 1⁄5 of the amount of gusto you used to express for political activism on another hobby, you’d be an expert in no time.
There’s nothing wrong with having differing views than your elders, but in all likelihood your anger and passion led you to do more a little more dressing down and accusing than discussing with your family members. If you want to discuss your views, come into the conversation remembering that they have seen a lot more of life than you have, and remember that they hold their views for many valid reasons rather than sheer bigotry and ignorance.
Men are not your enemy. Women are not trying to destroy you (that one’s for the red-pilled readers). The patriarchy is not holding you back, nor is there a conspiracy among women to destroy the lives of men. If we want to build a better society, we must remember that men and women complement and need each other.
Just because you have been an angry radical in the past does not mean you have to stay that way. Toning down your behavior and treating those you disagree with with respect is a big step toward maturing. I wish you well in your recovery!
If you liked this article, you’ll love my book, All the Cool Girls Are Anarchists! Buy it here.
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