June 26, 2018 • Sarah Jean Gosney
We’ve all had our eye on that one guy. He’s strong, he’s good-looking, he’s masculine. And you want him. But how do you get him to notice you, and, better yet, ask you out? Some would say “Go for it! Take the reins and ask him out!” but I am here to tell you there is a much better way—the way to get him to chase you.
Getting a guy to chase you is going to take a little bit of effort, but you will be surprised how easy it is if you just make the right moves.
Men are very visual, and they all want a beautiful woman. An important part of catching the man you want is always being ready to impress him (even if you haven’t met him yet!). It is to your advantage to always look your best when you are out and about. Make it a daily habit to wear a skirt or dress and to do your hair, makeup, and keep your nails tidy if not painted. You will really get his attention if you wear heels. (1in-3in should suffice. No need to wear stilettos on a daily basis.)
Make sure you stand tall with your shoulders back. This may feel strange if you’re not used to having good posture, but trust me when I say it can change your whole appearance. It will make you look confident, beautiful, and more open to interaction.
Last but not least, SMILE! A smile will make you seem open and inviting to those around you. Making an effort to smile in general will make you approachable, but, once you are sure you look beautiful, your first plan of action is to smile at this man!
If you are not used to interacting with strangers or flirting, this may seem forward to you. However, take it from me that it’s not, and it’s just the signal he needs to approach you! When you catch his eye, smile while holding eye contact, look down coyly, and look back up to meet his eye. He will find this very endearing.
So, you’ve already gotten started. You look gorgeous, you’ve smiled at him. Now what? You’ve sent him the signal, so why isn’t he making a move?
This doesn’t mean he’s not interested in you. Guys don’t do subtlety, and he may have thought you were just being friendly when you smiled. Chances are he’d be happy to go on a date with you, but he may not be the kind of guy to randomly ask a girl out.
Now that you’ve caught his eye, make sure you continue to look up and smile at him from time to time. If he’s still not getting a signal, find an excuse to get near him. Let’s say you’re at a coffee shop and he’s near an outlet. Walk over to him and say “Hi, do you mind if I use this outlet?” all with a big smile.
Now, I do not care if there are five outlets closer to you than the one he’s next to. Go to his.
The point of this is to open up a conversation. If he doesn’t take the lead on the conversation, don’t give up now. Do whatever you can to continue it (“So what are you working on?”). Unless he seems really annoyed that you’re talking to him (in which case it’s any of these three things: 1. He’s working on something critical and can’t be distracted 2. You’re not his type 3. He’s gay), keep talking to him. Some guys are really dense and practically need a blinking sign with arrows pointing to you to know you want to go out with him.
Remember to keep smiling. Don’t be afraid to show your nervous excitement at talking to him. This is NOT the time to play it cool. You want him to get the message that you are happy to be around him.
Now to up the ante: touch him in a light, flirtatious way. For example, touch his arm when you are talking to him. Better yet, you can use the “I have to fix my shoe” move. Bend down to “fix” your shoe (again, I don’t care if they are perfectly comfortable and there’s nothing to fix) and grab onto his arm or place your hand on his chest. For bonus points, once you are done say “Thanks! I needed something strong to hold onto!”
By this point, he should be getting the vibe that you are into him. However, if he’s still not making a move, you might have to be a bit more direct. Now this does NOT mean asking him out. Don’t do this. You want to be chased, don’t you? And he wants to do the chasing. He might just need some more encouragement. (Again, guys, even the manly ones, can be really dense.)
Early on in the conversation, say things like “I love talking to you!” or “You are so interesting!” Compliments like this will signal to him that you are interested in him, not just that you have a weird thing about using outlets or that you wore the wrong shoes.
Now we’ve come to what I like to call “leading the witness.” It’s a legal term you’ve probably heard before that means that everything you’re saying is intended to lead the other person to the answer you have in mind.
For you, this would be him asking you out on a date. What you are doing is basically setting him up for thinking that asking you out was his idea while also making it very clear that you would say yes if he asked.
So, here’s an example of how this works.
You: “Have you seen that new Star Wars movie? I’ve been wanting to see it.”
Him: “No, I haven’t.”
You: “I really wanted to see it on Saturday, but I hate going to the movies alone. It’s way more fun having someone you can talk to and share the popcorn with.”
Do you see how this gives him a wide-open window of opportunity to ask you to go to the movie on Saturday? On the off chance that he’s not interested in you, this gives him an out. He has plausible deniability because you never asked him out. However, he will more likely be into you and will take this opportunity to ask you out. Even if he has seen the movie, you can say the same thing and get to the same place.
Getting a guy to chase you is all about sending him the signals that you are fun to be around and that you’re interested in him. What guy could say no to a pretty, well-dressed girl laughing and flirting with him? If you can master these steps, you will easily be able to make the guy you want chase you.
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